Never mind the bollocks

spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the Oct 13 episode on CBC

PUB PRODUCTION OF CINDERELLA LACKS BALLS

by Corrie S. Heart

Weatherfield Gazette theatre critic

It was a case of the glass slipper being half empty - rather than half full - at the debut performance of Cinderella at the Rovers Return last night. The amateur Weatherfield production offered a bold, edgy take on the traditional panto classic -- with mixed results (and mixed drinks).

Kudos must go to convicted kidnapper John Stape whose play combined a modern sensibility with old fashioned conventions (oh no, it didn't - ed). Sparkling performances by the two ugly sisters energized the first Act (oh yes, they did - ed) thanks to Sean Tully and Jesse Chadwick. However the central love story of Cinderella and Prince Charming was somehow lacking in chemistry. Thespians Claire Peacock and Steve Macdonald failed to produce a spark. Special mention must go to Becky Granger, Graeme Proctor and Betty Turpin, an edgy no-nonsense fairy godmother with a simmering hotpot.  

As an X-rated Andrew Lloyd Webber-type gimmick, Stape's panto ends on a decidedly dramatic note when young Amy Barlow makes a short and stunning appearance, invoking the Sex Pistols era with a one-word shocker. This tawdry attempt to mix punk rock anarchy with a traditional panto is certainly different but surely there must be some other way to highlight the fact that all Cinderella pantos need balls? 

Cinderella is currently playing at the Rovers Return pub on a limited engagement. Call 555-PUNTER for reservations.