Saturday, July 1, 2017

Number 1 Encore Post: Peter Barlow's seven sexy seduction lines

While I'm away, allow me to subject treat you to the most viewed post (by far) on Blanche's Polish Hip from March 2014, New posts will return later this week.

Let's get to it. Peter Barlow. Where does he get the time? Where does he get the energy? Where does he get the gall? And, most importantly, where on earth does he get those cheesy seduction lines? And, furthermore, why do they seem to work? In order to warn women everywhere (but mostly in Weatherfield), we present to you Peter Barlow's top seven seduction lines.

They are, of course, a closely guarded secret (like the recipe for Old Spice) but we spotted them interspersed among the various tattoos on the sub-mariner's, sub-par illustrated body. Beware and be warned:

1. "Here, let me get you out of those wet clothes"

2. "If I told Carla you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?"

3. "Are those space pants? Because your ass is out of this world! Still, they do look a bit wet so let me..."

4. "There's something wrong with my cellphone, baby: it doesn't have your number. Oh wait, here it is, right next to Carla's"

5. "Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by the smoking shelter again (as long as Carla isn't there)?"

6. "What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this -- especially when Carla could arrive at any minute!"

7. "Your name must be Google because you're everything I've been searching for - but please delete your search history before Carla gets here."

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